I hate my toaster
Sep 26 2005, 00:03 EDT [updated Oct 08 2005, 11:52 EDT]
I have a $20 toaster from Target. This toaster is different. this toaster has innovations. This toaster has things I don't want in a toaster.

It looks sane at a glance. It has a lever to push down to start the toasting. It has a knob that controls how long the bread stays in before it magically emerges as toast. The guys at Oster couldn't leave well enough alone. Several levels of folks approved a new design for a toaster. I don't know if it started with the industrial designers or the engineering team but one signed off on the other and then testing team let both of them get away with it. Witness: the "Cancel" button

I happily ignored this button along with the "bagel", "frozen", and "warm" settings when I bought the toaster. Woe is me. The first time I made toast the toast started burning. From my extensive life experience I knew exactly how to deal with this situation - I pulled up on the lever. No Dice. The lever will not budge even if you try very hard to break it. After a brief struggle and some small amount of panic I discovered the "Canel" button. It pops the toast out the top (no icon, though). Until this event I was very comfortable in the knowledge that I knew exactly how a toaster worked. After the event I began to question everything the freshman design team at Oster had done. Witness:

This icon tells you that the toast comes out the top. It does not indicate that the lever next to it can be used to make the toast come out the top.

Light toasting is indicated on the left by a black icon. Dark toasting is indicated on the right by a white icon.

For now there will be no pictures of my coffee pot which has exactly one button - unmarked! - that turns it on or off. No pictures of the dial on my crockpot which has a marking for each of its three positions Off, Low, and High. No pictures of things that carry absolutely no surprise for anyone living. For right now I'll just sit and enjoy my ham sandwich on lightly toasteed beef steak rye.

Update1: A coworker asks if hitting the Cancel button undoes the toasting and returns bread. No, no it doesn't.
Update2: My father writes with a modest defense of the Cancel button.
When we renovated the house we discarded our old toaster. The [first] new one did not have a cancel button and the handle didn't cause it to pop. Pulling the plug was effective. We got a new shiny one BECAUSE it had a cancel button. None of the current models has the desired analog functionality, and the cancel button is at least unambiguous and easy to find when the toast is smoking. You can retrieve the toast without yanking the cord.

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